God, are you there? It's me, Lauren.

Haven't we all at one point asked ourselves this question? All you have to do is just insert your own name.

Truthfully and honestly, I've had to ask God that a lot more come here lately.

I feel like I'm failing in so many areas of my life right now, and I've had to search out his grace a little harder... grace from him, and grace in which to give to myself. Why is that so hard?

This summer I have spent so much time at the beach. It's where I can sense him, touch him, taste him, and it's where I feel closest to God.

On Saturday a couple of weeks ago, I just went to the beach by myself, ALONE. It was just my chair, music, drinks, book, and the sand and ocean right in front of me and quiet.

It.Was.Bliss.

So much has been swirling in my head right now that it's been hard to get it down on this blog when I haven't even been able to process it all myself.

I've been doing a lot of self-examining, working on relationships in my life, figuring out what's important to me and what's not, and just doing alot of soul searching from the inside out. I've been spending a lot of wonderful quality time with my family this summer and it's been great, and making time for those friends that matter most to me, but also making sure I make that time for myself and the stillness and the quiet that can offer us so much, when the summer seems to be such a crazy and busy time.

 So when we ask "God, are you there?" .... The truth of the matter is, he's always there.

Always.

And when you find him, you'll always find grace.

Bittersweet.

So it's Father's Day weekend. Father's Day has always been a hard thing. I have no true relationship with my real father and Larry passed away in February.

So this year will be no exception.

I say bitter sweet because God is my ultimate Father who will never leave me nor forsake me when I've been disappointed here on this earth.

My Mom's words through text this morning were like balm to my soul. Exactly what I needed to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it. 

Psalm 68:5 - "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."

Make Em' Smile!

Out of all 708 blog posts I've written (make this now 709) this will by far be the most special one I've written. This weekend will always be near and dear to my heart and one etched into my memory forever.

For 10 years now a Christian organization called Nathaniel's Hope plans an event in downtown Orlando called "Make Em' Smile" ... It's a day to honor and recognize special needs kids. You had the opportunity to buddy up with a VIP (a special needs kid) and spend the day with them and their family.

I went into this knowing that it was going to be a very special day and a wonderful way to give back and take the focus off ourselves. I can't even begin to tell you how much it exceeded my expectations. I was hoping to be a blessing to someone else, but safe to say I was the one blessed ten fold. 

Meet Jordyn.

She is a beautiful 7 year old with down syndrome and I can honestly say after having spent the day with her my life will never be the same.

Yes, clinically she may have down syndrome, but I never once saw her as a little girl with DS, but a precious girl who is fearfully and wonderfully made. She's a little girl who taught me in one day how far a little compassion can go for these precious souls that are born with that extra chromosome.

I thought about the challenges and difficulties that Jordyn might face in the years ahead. How kids can be so cruel and the teasing she might face, and the feeling that she doesn't quite belong. Frankly, when I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes because I pray that each and every day she can see what God sees, the beauty within and that she will always know there's a God that loves her infinitely more than she could ever imagine.

I truly was honored that she would open me to her world for the day and allow me to see first hand how unique and cherished these special kids are. 

We were also privileged to spend time with Jordyn's Mom and her older sister Christian for the day as well. Jordyn's family was just as equally precious and so loved watching Jordyn's sister with her, such a great big sister. And we sat and listened as Jordyn's mom talked with us and shared her story.

This picture just shows a small fraction of the MANY people that were there to come together to honor these special kids. 

As we said good bye at the end of the day to Jordyn and her family, we didn't want to leave each other. In the few short hours a beautiful friendship had already formed. As we hugged Jordyn's mom she had tears in her eyes thanking us for taking the time out of our day and that it meant so much because sometimes people just don't take the time to see and recognize how special these kids truly are.

But I so so do.

 We exchanged our contact info and hesitantly had to walk in opposite directions to go to our cars.

As I'm thinking of Jordyn today.

Make Em' Smile??

Oh, that she did.

Memorial Weekend!

 

Friends

Family

Waking up to beautiful sunrises

Good food

Boogie boarding

Crashing waves

Sand in my toes

Sun

Cold drinks

Pool fun

Games

Rainbows

Seashells

Laughs

GOOD TIMES!!!

It doesn't get any better than that. Hope y'all had a wonderful Memorial weekend!!! 

What do you think?!?!?!

There's no denying my DNA!

My Mom and I. 

HELLO, can you say twins?

No one can say I'm not my mother's child!!!!!!!!!!

This is almost eerie!

Intentional blogging.

Once upon a time, this blogging thing came easy for me! Don't know where along the way it became so hard!

I guess I took a little bit of a break here, huh? Miss me? Don't answer that unless it's yes! ;) 

Just kidding.

Honestly and truthfully, blogging has become more of a "Oh, do I have to?" versus "Oh, but I want to." 

Make sense?

I want to be intentional with my blogging. I don't just want to say or talk about what I think people want to hear. I don't want to get mixed up in who is or who isn't reading or the number beside my follower count. Or, oh my gosh, this post doesn't have a picture in it, is anyone going to read? It's all the silly stuff we worry about.

So we're going to talk about intentional blogging for a second.

Why do we blog and who do we blog for? This is the question I've had to ask myself.

 Lets sit on this for a minute.

Somewhere I lost my intent. I searched my heart and knew I wasn't doing this blogging thing 100% for the right reasons. 90% of the time I would say my intentions were right, but that 10% was enough to be the joy sucker in this whole blogging thing. 

Truth is, I love blogging and I love having this space. I love sharing my life with you. I love the emails I've received over the course I've been blogging thanking me for a particular thing I've had to share and how my words have resonated with some of you. Not to mention ALL the wonderful people I've met. That makes it SO totally worth it. 

But I have to just be honest, I've been 10% flawed with this whole blogging thing! I'm not going anywhere, but I'm sure as heck moving forward with a new outlook on this little space I call my own.

I consider this blog post to be like a whole fresh, new start and a whole new way of thinking when it comes to the good ole' blog. I want to find the joy in blogging again and that starts here and now!

Any body else struggle with this?!?!?!?

 

What being single means to me.

• Being single doesn't mean I'm weak, means I'm strong enough to wait for what I deserve
• God is busy writing the best love story for me
• I won't settle
• Being single doesn't mean I don't know anything about love, being solo is wiser than being in a false relationship
• Doesn't mean nobody wants me, God is waiting for that person who is worthy of me
• I'm single not because I don't pray for love, but because I don't play around with love
• Single does not mean lonely, it means I'm preparing for the arrival of a better love
• He'll be worth it
• So very worth it

  

 

In the meantime I embrace this time and soak in all you're trying to teach me Lord! Thank you for guarding my heart, protecting me, and saving your BEST for me. 

 

 I wait. I don't want a love that fades after the dance. I'll write him a love song with my life, cause this kind of love is worth waiting for. No matter how long it takes, I'm already His.

 

Faithfully.