Monday, April 30, 2012

Hammer on the nail.

You know that scripture in Psalms that talks about the deer panting for streams of water? I am that deer. I’ve been in a desert and I’ve been looking for water, something, anything to quench my thirst, and boy did I get a WELL of water handed to me this weekend. I walked into a church conference this weekend a deer, my heart opened wide, and just begging for the Lord to speak to me in some way, just to let me know that he was there and that he was listening.

One point during the conference we all had a mask that they made for each of us women that was given to us. The front of the mask is what the world sees, and the inside part of the masks are the hidden areas of our lives we don’t want others to see. So on the back part of the mask they asked us to write down all those hidden areas, the secret places that we hide and don’t want others to see, all the *junk* we’re dealing with. Then they placed a wooden cross at the front of the stage. They supplied us with hammer and nails in which we were to hammer those masks with all our *junk* to the cross and leave it at the cross.  The praise and worship team then went into a beautiful time of worship and one by one women after women came up and started hammering and nailing their masks to the cross. Amidst the music all you could hear was bang, bang, bang…. Hammer after hammer hitting the nails. It was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard IN MY LIFE. It was the sound of pure freedom with each bang of the nail. So I felt in my spirit it was my time to go up and get to hammering. I got my hammer and my nail. Bang, I hit the nail…. Bye rejection. I banged, with the hammer again, Bye insecurity. I banged once again, Bye fear. Bang, Bye resentment and anger towards my real Father. Bang, I won’t be defined by my Turner Syndrome or hearing loss, Bye! You get the theme here. With each bang of the hammer hitting that nail, I just felt each and every thing hindering me being released. So I hit the nail one last time and handed the hammer to the next woman behind me. At that point they opened the alter up front and the music was still going. I knelt down just to be still, soak in his presence and his goodness. I feel an arm wrap around me and this woman says, can I pray for you. I say yes, please. We spent a beautiful time in prayer. With each word she’s speaking the tears are just flowing. We hugged each other at the end, and I got up to go back to my seat feeling lighter than I have in a VERY long time. So I get back to my seat and they start singing “Healing is in Your Hands” (the song sung at Larry’s funeral) I.Lost.It … and the water dam opened up. Tears of release, tears of joy, tears of sadness, and tears of hope all rolled into one.

The whole conference was just such an intimate time with the Lord.

Psalm 139:
You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

How amazing is this scripture? He knows me so very intimately, he pursues me and chases after me. He knew me before the foundations of the earth and before I was even in my mother’s womb. As much as I love the Lord, my heart has struggled with my self-worth that is found in him. That knowledge is planted in my heart, but it’s getting that to my head. Oh but man, when you can just get that in your head.

The whole theme of the conference was making peace with your past, finding purpose in the present, and passion for the future. God met me right where I was at. He is an ON TIME God. Never too early, never too late. This was a “Whoa Lauren you needed to be here” kind of a thing.

It’s true, you will find God when you seek him with all of your heart.

Okay, stepping down from the pulpit now, ha!! 

I pray if you're reading this, and you need to get your own hammer and nails. DO IT! 

Get the hammer on the nail.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

10 years and what do I have to show for it?!?!?!

10 years seemed sooooooooooooo far off! But it went by in the blink of an eye.

It's that time..... 10 year high school reunion is this year. The notices have started going around Facebook.

I look back over the past 10 years and think about where I'm at today and it's nothing like I pictured in my mind.

As wonderful as it would be to see everyone from the class of 2002, at the same time it makes me cringe.

I feel like I have nothing to show for the past 10 years.

Husband. Nope.

Kids. Nope.

Established career. Nope.

House with a mortgage. Nope (Although who really wants a mortgage, lol. But the house, yes!)

I feel like people with all the above have found who they are, whereas I still feel like God's taking me down the path of still discovering who Lauren is. I'm just a soon-to-be 28 year old seeking God's Will and knows in her heart God's plan is perfect.

The husband will be worth the wait.

I love kids and know in my heart that time will come.

I'm in school to better myself and get in that career and in the meantime with a job that has supported me 100%.

The house, it will come.

I'm blessed beyond measure with family and friends who bring me so much joy and I'm honored to do life with.

The past 10 years hasn't been without the hard times. But I hope I can look back and see God's hand in it all, the good and the bad and that I've grown in him and my heart pursues and seeks after him daily ....

And the rest, it will fall into place.

Any of you seen the movie Romy and Michelle's high school reunion??? Maybe I can just say I invented the post-it notes?!?!?!?!? :)

Jeremiah 29:11

  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Surgery update!



Everything went well with the surgery! I survived and I spent the weekend just relaxing and taking it easy. I'll be back to work in the middle of the week! Just glad to have it behind me and done and over with.

No matter how old you are, you ALWAYS need your Momma! :)

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers! Love y'all :)

Happy Monday!!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Prayers for tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning I go for ear surgery. I just decided I would start off the weekend with a bang!! Would covet your prayers that all goes smoothly and without a hitch! 

I'm a little anxious but I'm reminded of this scripture:

 Exodus 33:14 - “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

I'll be back from the comfort of my bed with an update hopefully!!

Love y'all! :)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wordless Wednesday - Easter pics!

My family, these people are my heart and soul. So glad I get to do life with them.

I am so very blessed!!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Fingerprints on the heart!

Today it's been two months since Larry left us. So very hard to believe. But my heart also rejoices in knowing he's been face to face with his savior in Heaven and is completely healed.

We miss him like crazy though and beyond words!!

I got the most special gift this weekend I think I can honestly say I've ever gotten in my whole entire life! 

This is a charm that all of us girls received. It's Larry's fingerprint. On the back is inscribe "Dad" with his birth date and passing date.

Safe to say he left fingerprints on all of our hearts and so this is only fitting!!! And also safe to say this will not be leaving my neck anytime soon!! 

What a treasured gift.

I'll be back with an Easter recap! :)

Monday, April 2, 2012

Girl time.

Happy Monday, friends!! Hope y'all had a wonderful weekend!!

I just love sweet times with sweet friends! And Sunday was no exception. I met up with my dear friend Michelle after church for brunch/lunch. 

Such yummy food!!!

 Was great to catch up with her and spend time with her. It was a gorgeous day and so after we got done eating we walked around some trails near where we ate. Michelle was testing out her new camera and was taking pictures and thought she got some really nice shots and wanted to share and she gave me permission to steal these from her :)

I'm blessed with the people God has put in my life, and again Michelle, you're no exception.