Can you keep a secret?

Okay.......

It's been awhile since this blog has been light-hearted.

Soooooooo, lets talk PLL.

Oh.my.word.

This is my crack (not that I would know) these days!!

Holy addiction!!!!!!!!! This show is so flippin good!!

I've just recently been introduced to the crazy town of Rosewood and these Pretty Little Liars. Catching up with the seasons has TAKEN OVER my life! No joke. I've spent many of weekends having PLL marathons and not to mention envying the amazing fashion of these girls. Obsessed much????

So it's no secret now. Here is a TV junkie in ALL it's glory!!!!!

ABC Family. Tuesday nights. WATCH. And do yourself a favor and catch up before it comes back on January 8th. You'll thank me! I pinky promise!

It might possibly lean on the side of a being a teenie bopper show but I LOVE LOVE LOVE. Don't judge, ha!! But in my defense, it's an incredibly well-written show for ABC Family!!!

Any other PLL fans out there?????? :)

Happy Monday!!

Social media.

I'm just going to be straight up honest with you.

I'm an addict.

To social media that is.

As many others of you might be out there. It's all around us. Our phones are like a computer we can take with us wherever we go. We have the capability of being connected 24/7.

Honestly, this has affected alot of areas in my life.

I have tried many, many times to disconnect but have failed each and EVERY single time.

Last week I deleted my Facebook and Twitter and the apps from my phone. I've done this many times but there was something different about this time. I knew this time that this was it and I was going to do it and I was going to follow through.

I was craving a change, a change that I knew was long past due. I had lost all capability of being able to truly live in the moment. I didn't like the person I was becoming, and if I'm being truly honest with myself, it's the kind of person I'd been for while.

I think what really did it for me and solified my decision was when I was spending time with my 7-year old niece a couple of weekends ago and she directly asked me "Why are you always on your phone?" ......

Ouch!

My heart dropped. I never want her to feel that updating my Facebook status is more important than her or have her wait a moment while I send that tweet. I don't want to put social media above anyone or anything that is important in my life and I realized that's exactly what I was doing.

That one simple question was humbling and caused me to reflect on where my priorities are.

I'm already noticing that my life feels less cluttered, there's not as much noise because I'm not constantly filling my head with people's FB post/statuses or tweets and all things social media.

Who knows, I might have it again sometime. But for right now, I don't see it anywhere in the near future.

I want to control social media, not have social media control me.

Anyone else struggle with this??

For whatever it's worth.

You poor, poor readers (those of you that are still hanging around)..

I feel like this little ole’ blog of mine has gotten to the point of no return, ha!

But if you’re reading this today, it’s not by accident. I’ve had a blog post stirring in my heart for awhile now. Hoping and praying that maybe, just maybe it’s something that you needed to hear today.

It’s three simple words actually.

YOU.ARE.WORTHY.

Yes, ________ (insert your name here), you are worthy.

I have spent so so much of my life battling in my head this simple concept, and truly valuing and accepting my own self-worth.

I often wonder to myself, that person looking back at me in the mirror each morning, how much do I truly value, cherish, and love that person? What exactly do I see? Do I see all my flaws and start listing them one by one, or do I see beauty, a child of the King?

Let me back up for a minute.

Had sort of a mental/emotional meltdown last week. My Mom (bless her) could sense something was not right and that I was off. She finally said “Lauren, sit down” and asked me what was wrong. All she had to do was ask me that question and the tears came and it just spilled out. This is the deal, I’m a HUGE people pleaser. To A FAULT. Look that up in the dictionary and my picture is so there. If everyone around me is happy, I’m happy. The word “No” is not in my vocabulary. I’ve been feeling so super stretched lately with everything and everyone. Because I am so busy and I don’t want to let anyone down and them feel like they’re being neglected, that they’re not important to me, and etc. The best way I can describe it is it’s like someone is taking a chisel (um, that would be me) and breaking off pieces of me to everything and everyone, and at the end there’s nothing left for me (and for God) and I feel depleted. Not good, not good. So it finally came to a head and once I got it out, it feels so much better. But oh do I need to make some major changes, because I will NOT do this anymore and I CANNOT do this anymore. I need a healthy balance, and hopefully I’ll get there. But recognizing it and knowing that I need to do something about it is a start.

We are our own WORST critics, that’s for sure. I wish we (or at least me) could always look in the mirror and see our own self-worth and love the person looking back at us and be able to see ourselves the way God sees us. I’m not even talking about our bodies or physical appearance, but there’s always the voice telling you  that we could be a better daughter, sister, friend, and that we’re never doing enough and blah blah blah (whatever it maybe). It’s a constant, constant battle!!!

We are worthy. I owe it to myself, you owe it to yourself if you are struggling with the same thing. I am worth it to finally tell that voice in my head to shut the heck up, to say no when I need to say no, to find that balance I crave, and to accept and love myself and realize I’m not perfect.

But I do know I serve a perfect God where my love, acceptance, value, and worth are found.

So that's kind of what's been stirring in my head and heart the past month, for whatever it's worth! :)

Thirty One Partay :)

Hey!! My good friend, Courtney, that I met through blogging just signed up to be a 31 Consultant so I would love to support her. She and I met at the Beth Moore conference in 2010. Her family then came to Disneyworld in November 2010 so we got together then too. I also just spent last weekend at her house in Chattanooga, TN. You can meet some good friends from blogging :)

If you aren't familiar with the company Thirty-One, the company is actually based off of Proverbs 31. They have super cute products like purses, lunch boxes, organizers, everyday bags, thermal totes, etc. You can also get most items monogrammed to make them even cuter.

I know Courtney would be so so excited to get her very first order and maybe even add her first team member. To join, it is $99 (around $120 with tax and shipping). With that, you get around $400 worth of product. So even if it doesn't work out for you, you at least get a ton of product and cute stuff.

I am hosting my "online party" until Monday August 13. It's so easy to order. Just go to Courtney's website HERE and then click on "My Parties", find my name, and shop away.

Thanks in advance for supporting her. :)

You can fool the world, but you can't fool your heart.

Well, hello there.

I honestly have no idea who reads this little space of mine anymore. Can I have a show of hands, please? Ha!

Truthfully, I'm going to just come out and say that 2012 has not been my year for blogging. I began reflecting and considering why that might be. A million things swirled around in my head and one major thing came to my mind.....

Frustration.

You see everyone has their own personal reasons for why they blog. I did not start my blog to have some big well-known fancy blog. I did it because I thought it would be something fun to do and I love to write/journal and somehow I feel better when I get my words and thoughts out there. It's theraputic for me. I never in a million years thought that I'd make some of the best friends through this way. That's been the biggest blessing of it all.

Somewhere along the way I became frustrated with the whole blogging thing though. I feel like people play the fools game. Portray themselves to be one way, but their heart speaks another and you begin to see the real heart of a person. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I have always prided myself on being 100% me when it comes to blogging. But reality is, people are going to put what they want you to see, it's their space after all. And it can be a big game of "Who's Who" in the blogosphere and popularity (in ALL forms of social media) and honestly, it makes me cringe when I see that. We're all in this together and safe to say I speak for all of us when I say that we all have a story to share and a voice to be heard. Whether some blog has thousands of followers or whether a blog has one follower, no one is greater or less than the other.

At the end of the day though, I hope I can be honest with the world and honest with my heart!

Who knows if those of you who might be reading this right now might be noticing or struggling with the same thing, but let me remind you:

It's your story. It's your voice.

Anyone feelin' me here? I'll get off my soapbox now.

God, are you there? It's me, Lauren.

Haven't we all at one point asked ourselves this question? All you have to do is just insert your own name.

Truthfully and honestly, I've had to ask God that a lot more come here lately.

I feel like I'm failing in so many areas of my life right now, and I've had to search out his grace a little harder... grace from him, and grace in which to give to myself. Why is that so hard?

This summer I have spent so much time at the beach. It's where I can sense him, touch him, taste him, and it's where I feel closest to God.

On Saturday a couple of weeks ago, I just went to the beach by myself, ALONE. It was just my chair, music, drinks, book, and the sand and ocean right in front of me and quiet.

It.Was.Bliss.

So much has been swirling in my head right now that it's been hard to get it down on this blog when I haven't even been able to process it all myself.

I've been doing a lot of self-examining, working on relationships in my life, figuring out what's important to me and what's not, and just doing alot of soul searching from the inside out. I've been spending a lot of wonderful quality time with my family this summer and it's been great, and making time for those friends that matter most to me, but also making sure I make that time for myself and the stillness and the quiet that can offer us so much, when the summer seems to be such a crazy and busy time.

 So when we ask "God, are you there?" .... The truth of the matter is, he's always there.

Always.

And when you find him, you'll always find grace.

Bittersweet.

So it's Father's Day weekend. Father's Day has always been a hard thing. I have no true relationship with my real father and Larry passed away in February.

So this year will be no exception.

I say bitter sweet because God is my ultimate Father who will never leave me nor forsake me when I've been disappointed here on this earth.

My Mom's words through text this morning were like balm to my soul. Exactly what I needed to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it. 

Psalm 68:5 - "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."