Thursday, May 14, 2009

The hands of a father!

Light of the world,
You stepped down into darkness.
Opened my eyes,
Let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore you
Hope of a life spent with you...

This particular verse of this song I heard this morning really struck me in a way it never has before. It's so comforting to know that no matter what we're going through at a particular moment in time, that we have the hope of a life spent with him. As I'm typing this I began to think back about the first time I really started to adore him.

There is no doubt in my mind that God has had his hand over my life since the day I was born. He's been with me through the divorce of my mother and father, although I was very young when they divorced it wasn't really until I got older that I really felt his hand of protection, the hands of a father, because I really don't have a normal father/daughter relationship with my father. He doesn't have much of a presence in my life. What presence he does have, I've learned to accept, although I won't ever understand it, but just take peace in the fact that God is in the midst, and even in the midst of our confusion and holds me with the hands of a father. God was with me when my stepfather (my sister's dad) passed away on Father's Day weekend in 1993 in a boating accident. He truly loved me as his own and showed me love that I was craving. He was a good man, a handsome man. My mom adored him and so did we. My mom was then single for many years until she got married in 1998 and again found a man that loved me as his own and I loved him so much. He again filled a void in my life. And God was there when that marriage ended in divorce in 2005 under horrible circumstances (which are too personal to share) and ended with us leaving a church that we had been a part of for nearly 10 years and left us confused and questioning alot of things. But not once, not even once did God leave us, and I always felt the hands of a father.

Our family has been through alot and from reading this, you can pretty much gather that there was never a stable earthly father in my life, but you can also gather from reading this, another pattern, the hands of another father, the BEST father you could ever ask for. The heavenly father. And thank you God for that! He's been the constant father in my life. At times I may have felt like he left me, abandoned me, that he wasn't listening to what I had to say... that my prayers, fears, insecurities, feelings of rejection were going unnoticed. But deep down, I know they weren't, because all the while, I was being held by the hands of a father. The comfort and outstretched arms he was offering me were there all along, you just have to reach out for it.

Whatever you're going through right now, remember that the hands of a father are waiting to comfort you. And if you know someone that needs to know that today, guide them to those hands!

Open my eyes, and let me see!
Let that be your prayer today and may the hands of the father hold you!

Boy, did I need this today just as much for myself :)

And a few thoughts:

* All of us here at the office are going to Chili's for lunch today, YUM!!!
* I'm so bummed that Danny got kicked off of American Idol, but I'm now rooting for Kris :)
* I haven't been wanting to get out of bed in the mornings this week, anyone else feeling like this?? haha!
* I've had a chocolate donut for breakfast every day this week. Not very nutritious is it?
* Hoping and praying I get my braces off before my best's friend wedding next month. Would you be praying?? haha!!!
* Can't wait for the craziness of this month to be over. June is looking really nice right about now. And my birthday is June 11th, mark the calendars people :)
* I won a bloggy giveaway and should be receiving the Shred here shortly, so excited. I've heard so much about it and it sounds like such great exercise, but from what I hear, Jillian is going to have it out for me. I'm kind of scared, ha!
* For those of you wanting to know, didn't get my tattoo last night, they were booked for the evening, but going to be getting it this weekend, and definitely there will be pictures to follow.

And that's all I got for now!!


Bailey said...

Hi Lauren! It's Bailey (from Champagne Taste), I came over from Shannon's blog. Just wanted to say hi and to thank you for sharing your "father" story today... so touching. And yes, Jillian is pretty terrible, but it is a great workout! Can't wait to see pictures of your tatoo! Good for you for going for it!

Holly said...

You wild woman! I can't wait to see pictures of your tat! Maybe I'll go wtih you this weekend, just kidding! Tony would die!
Well my love, you do have a constant heavenly father. I loved your blog about this. I am thankful for your honesty and transparency. Your words I am sure will help another! God Bless!

Whitney said...

I love that you shared this with us. You are so awesome!
Oh, and be scared of Jillian!

Rebecca Jo said...

Oh Lauren... that you realize & understand your Heavenly Father - some people would reject God because they see so much heart ache with their earthly Father... but you see where the true peace lies in it all! So happy for you that you do understand THAT Father's love!!!

Yipee on winning the Shred.. get ready!

And did you ever decide what to get for your tattoo? Are you nervous?

Nichele Lynn said...

I pretty adore you, and your strength to share deep parts of your heart!! CanNOT wait to see your nee tattoo!! (Oh btw, I have Shred, and she kills!!) haha

Kaitlyn said...

Thank you for sharing, I needed to read this. Can't wait to see your tattoo!

♥ H ♥ said...

you've been tagged!!!

I want to see pics of the tat lady!

Heather Bug said...

Lauren, I loved reading made me cry. I am so sorry for what you've been through with your dads but wow, what an awesome attitude you have and an incredible love and appreciate for your Father. It's very touching and a great witness to others!

I loved Danny on AI but I love Kris, too, because he's from Conway, which is just 20 minutes from here. He's a Christian, too, which I love. I was sad when Danny got voted off but still think he will get a record deal. I liked his version of "You are so Beautiful" more than the original.

You've had a chocolate donut for breakfast every day this week...well, I've had a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese icing for LUNCH every day this week! :s I'm so glad I ate the last one today where I won't be so tempted!!!

Hope you are wonderful!!! Enjoy your Thursday! :)

Kendra said...

Tattoo! You're brave!

It's Kris, not Chris. And if you love him, VOTE for him like a thousand times!!! Can you tell I'm a fan??? I'm an Arkansas girl. I have to vote for my home-boy!

yours truly... said...

You always post just what I need to read! This is why we are friends!! LOL!! You're my hero! :-)

I must see tat pics!!! Blogger rules!! It must be posted!!!

Justin and Jessica said...

Thanks for another wonderful post! :) I needed to hear some of those words today!

Can't wait to hear about/see the tatoo!

Kendra said...

That was beautiful!!!!!! I love how you are able to share so much, so openly about how God has been so faithful to you.

Jacquie said...

Oh, Lauren, that was just so sweet. You have had some heartache, but God is good, isn't He? You are a walking testimony!

Spicy Magnolia said...

Oh, Lauren, thank you so much for sharing this part of your story with us. Your Father truly delights in you, and I know sharing your story impacts others as well.

I started the Shred this past week...I'm still taking a few days to recover! :)

Hope you're having a good weekend!