Monday, November 26, 2012

Family dynamics.

Family dynamics, it’s an interesting thing.

Holidays are all about friends and family and family togetherness and it kind of makes you reflect.

When you’re born, you don’t get to pick and choose your family. You’re born and you just hope you fall into a good one, ha!! I kid.

Absolutely no family is perfect, despite what TV portrays half the time.

On my Mom’s side it's not big at all. She’s the only child. And there’s my granny and my grandpa has passed away.

On my Dad’s side there’s my grandma (my grandpa passed away when I was a baby), two aunts, and two cousins. It was a huge tug of war in my heart but eventually I decided that I needed to cut ties where my Dad’s family was concerned, except with my cousin who I grew up with and we're best friends. My relationship with this side is pretty much non-existent, including with my Dad. It’s just a toxic group of people. They are negative and have no sense of what family is truly all about.  I just couldn’t surround myself with that anymore. I love them because they are my family and God calls us to love, but it doesn’t mean you have to like them. There’s a major difference.

It really saddens me that it is the way it is. But I’ve come to learn that family runs so much deeper than just blood.

Every year, like clockwork, around Christmas that card with the check comes in from my dad and it’s just simply signed “Love, Dad.” I replace that with “Hi, I don’t talk to you the other 364 days out of the year, but here’s your check.” If only he knew that it wasn’t his money I wanted, but just simply some measure, just a teeny tiny fraction of what you would call a relationship.
Anyway, going on a tangent here, lol.
I know nothing about any of this surprises God. I’ve learned that I’m truly blessed in so many incredible ways with my wonderful Mom, great sister and brother and the amazing sister-in-law and nieces he gave me. Not to mention the incredible family he gave us when my Mom married Larry and will remain long after his passing earlier this year.
As I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family, the people I do life with on a daily basis, the people who live up to the word, I’m so so thankful. Again, major fail on the picture taking but here is what I did get over Thanksgiving. Good looking group if I do say so myself!! :)
My gorgeous mom and I.
My sister, granny, mom, and I heading to my brother's house for Thanksgiving.
My adorable niece.
My mom and brother.
I'm a blessed and lucky girl!


Linds said...

I'm so with you on the card in the mail (with money or without) from the relatives that don't talk to you the other days of the year. SO annoying/heartbreaking/frustrating.

I have learned through the years that my family are those around me who would do ANYTHING for me. I'm so blessed to say I have a handful of friends who I know would drop everything they are doing to help me out in a time of need or for a listening ear. Glad to hear you had a good Thanksgiving!

Aishlea and Brandon said...

So true! I love the pics. I think that this just shows what all of those people are missing out on by not having a relationship with YOU!

Todd and Courtney said...

Soooo understand! I haven't talked to my sister via the phone since June. Just because you are family doesn't mean you have to be buddy buddy. Love ya lots and lots!

Lindsey said...

Such a gorgeous family you have!! I can totally relate to not having communication with a side of the family. I understand toxic relationships and I can def relate, hugs friend!!