Monday, January 9, 2012

In an instant.

Life, it can and will change in an instant.

When we arrived at the hospital, we had no idea we'd be driving back home with the knowledge of the possibility that Larry only had a few weeks left with us (We're praying and believing for so much longer and continue to believe for a miracle).

We're continuing to see the blessing in this, in that we can cherish and savor each moment we have left with him, say all we want to say to him and do all that we want to do with him before he leaves us. 

At Christmas I wrote each of my family members a letter. This is before having any idea of Larry's diagnosis and I'm so glad I did. If you're reading this, my advice to you, don't wait to tell people how much they mean to you, let them know now, at the exact moment you want to say it.

 I just wanted to preserve this:

Christmas 2011

Dear Larry:

          You came into our family at just the right time. It was a total God thing the way he orchestrated our families together. The way you have embraced Danielle and I, you will truly never know how much that means to us. You are our Father in every sense of the word and in every way that counts. Thank you for loving as your own. 

          You are an amazing husband to my Mom. I have never seen her happier or more content in all my life. Thank you for loving her and loving her well. You have been such an example for Danielle and I of what a godly husband looks like. You’re a man of such integrity and great character. All the qualities that I would love to find in a future husband.

          Larry, you have filled such a huge void in my life. Thank you for being the kind of father that I’ve always wished I had. The Lord knew what I needed when he brought you into our lives. You are slow to speak and quick to listen, thank you for always listening. I appreciate your sound and godly wisdom when I need guidance.

          I will never ever be able to say thank you enough for taking us into your home. I know you knew with Mom you were getting a package deal, but I’m sure you weren’t thinking in this way, ha! I don’t take lightly what you’ve done for us and I consider myself extremely blessed and fortunate in so many ways.

          With Danielle and I, there has been a lot of hurt and disappointment in the area of fathers. But God is a God of restoration and with you he has restored what was taken away from us. So very thankful for that, more than you will ever fully know. 

          In the past few years, when someone would come into Mom’s life I’d always feel as if we were losing her or someone was taking her away. But with you Larry, it was so different. I knew instantly it wasn’t a loss, but we were gaining a whole lot with you. It’s way too much to even attempt to put into a letter. 

          I love your sense of humor, your goofiness and your corny jokes, the way you make Mom laugh and the way her face lights up when you’re in the room. And with you in her life, I know that smile will stay permanently there. 

          You have brought so much to our lives, truly. It’s hard to remember life the way it was before our families merged together. I’m looking forward to continuing to build memories together as a family and with you. I think some of the greatest gifts we can give each other  are words. Words of love, words of encouragement, and words of affirmation.  It doesn’t have to come tied up in pretty paper with a fancy bow.  I think letting others know how much we love them can be one of the greatest gifts of all.

At Christmastime and always just wanted you to know how much I love you, how much your presence in my life has meant to me, and how blessed I am to call you my father. I love you so very much.  Merry Christmas, Larry!! Looking forward to what the New Year has in store for our family.

The best of my heart,

Thank you for your continued prayers. We covet them more than you know!!

Love y'all. 

Take a moment to watch this. This song has ministered to us so much during this time! If you're walking through a fire yourself right now, pray it ministers to you as well. We're fervently praying this over Larry!



Linds said...

well, now that I'm a blubbering mess I think I'll go find my kleenexes. My heart is just so sad for you Lauren! But I am also so encouraged for you to bless God even in the darkness of life... what a witness you are to those around you! Praying for you friend!

Erin said...

Praying for you and your family. We serve a GREAT BIG GOD and, just like the Hillsong song says, Nothing is impossible with Him.

Kristin said...

Oh my Lauren - that was so beautiful. What an amazing gift and wonderful idea. He is blessed to have you in his life too!! Thank you for sharing that and the prayers continue to come your way!!

Aishlea and Brandon said...

I'm a crying mess now....but that was so sweet! I am so thankful that you wrote him that letter when you did! I'm continuing to pray for you and your family! Love you!

Taylor said...

Lauren, that was absolutely beautiful and I've been praying so hard for you and your family!

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

Oh Lauren, this is so beautiful and you are so right! I am praying and believing with your family.

GreenGirl said...

Praying for you and your whole family, Lauren!

GreenGirl said...

Praying for you and your whole family, Lauren!

BARBIE said...

What a beautiful letter. I am praying for your entire family.

His Doorkeeper said...

What a timely, special letter Lauren! God is using you to make Larry's life, even to the end, so very full of love! He is blessed to have you for a daughter and you are blessed to have him!

Praying for all your family for the days ahead!
We love you sweet girl!

Maria said...

Lauren, I'm so glad I found your blog! Reading that letter brought tears to my eyes- it's so beautiful! And a great reminder to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us. Larry has also been blessed by you and your family.
It's a hard road but God is in control! Praying ad thinking of you all.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

this made me bawl. i'm sure Larry considers himself just as blessed to have you for a daughter.

lovejoy_31 said...

I just happened upon your blog and I don't know how, but I just wanted to comment. That was a beautiful letter. I too just lost my mom due to glioblastoma. She fought for four months. It was the most horrific thing I could imagine and I am sorry that there seem to be so many of us that go through this. I documented my mom's battle if you want to check it out. Know that you are being prayed for.

A Joyful Life