Tuesday, December 8, 2009

"What about me?"

Allow me to vent a minute if you will..

Is that okay?

After all, it's my blog and I'll whine if I want to, ha!

This season I’m at in my life right now is particularly hard. It seems like everyone around me is getting engaged, already married, and having kids.

It’s gotten to the point that if I see one more Facebook status that says “I’M ENGAGED” or “I’M PREGNANT”, I want to scream. Don’t get me wrong, I rejoice with my friends during these exciting times in their lives but it feels like to me it’s a constant reminder of where I’m not.

It’s the classic case of the “What about me?” syndrome. Where you constantly find yourself asking that question.

It’s just amazing to me that you can take two people, the same age, and they are at two totally different places in life. And I know there’s nothing wrong with that, God has a different path for everyone, but with each engagement announcement and with each pregnancy announcement you can’t help but feel there’s something wrong with you that you’re not the one sharing the exciting news.

What about me? You can’t help but wonder.

In reality, my singleness has never really bothered me, and I realize I’m still quite young, but every now and then it really sneaks up on me and bothers me more so than normal.

It’s very easy to feel like God has forgotten you in the midst of your singleness, and it may feel like it’s taking forever, but in reality, he’s perfecting and molding you to become the person he wants and needs you (me) to be before you meet that person.

I pray that God’s timing will be perfect, but in reality, I know I don’t pray for this area in my life nearly enough. So as this year is coming to a close, I’m making it my goal in the coming year to make this a priority in my prayer life, but most of all, to make my prayer life a priority.

So as I write these words, I am praying and believing that God is working and moving in my heart in preparation for when that time comes and that it will be beyond better then what I could have hoped for and that the wait will be worth it. It’s not to say that the “What about me?” syndrome won’t show up again but when it does I can remind myself that God has not forgotten me, and for all you singles out there, he hasn’t forgotten about you either. We’re just a lady in waiting and there will come a time when we’ll no longer have to wonder to ourselves, “What about me?”.

And for all you out there, what has helped you during this time of waiting?


Lindsey said...

Sweet Lauren, I went through THIS same thing. I remember going to a wedding and being single and thinking "ugh this is never going to happen to me!" then a year after that wedding I was engaged! So my best advice is just to enjoy this unique time of just having to answer to you and before you know it this will be happening to YOU!

Jess said...

Well, I certainly needed to read this, today!

Trust me, I 1000% understand where you're coming from. You aren't alone.

Thanks for the encouragement! I'm going to try to make the goals you've laid out mirror my own. My prayer life, in general, needs some work, but especially in the "Lady-In-Waiting" area.

Aishlea and Brandon said...

Lauren-- I don't know why some of us have to wait for things while others don't but I do know we all struggle in different ways. For instance I had the guy of my dreams, but we dated for 8 yrs before getting engaged! That wait was hard but now I see diff reasons why the timing was perfect....

Oh and you have plenty of time to train for the half if you are willing! There's a 12 week program that you can do! How fun that would be to do it together!! Email me- aishleahicks@hotmail.com if you are interested!!

Rebecca Jo said...

Oh hugs to you my sweet friend. I can imagine how you feel - just in a different way... & I think that's the thing. We all have different things we feel like God may have forgotten for us - whether it be a spouse, a child, a career, a home... things we see others have & think "GOD!!!! I want that too!!!"... but He's ever there reminding us its all in HIS TIME & HIS WILL!!! Whatever that may be! So hard to remember - harder to live with sometimes - but blessings are bound for you in whatever it looks like. Hold onto that dear one!

...::Mrs. Southern Bride::... said...

I used to feel this way too!! I never did much in the dating department. I felt that I couldn't see someone if I wasn't truly interested. As my closet friends moved on and got married, I felt so left behind. By the time I was 23, I was convinced I would never get married. So I decided to make a big step...I moved away, started attending a different church, and got a new job. Learned to surround myself with other singles, and keeping a full schedule helped. :) That, and lots of praying and devotions. Haha, but God obviously had other plans for me! Josh and I had been friends for years, when God finally brought us together less than a year after I took those big steps. It was all honestly just in God's timing!!! ;-)

There is someone out their for you... :)

Jordan said...

Hugs!! I don't know exactly how you feel right now since I'm not to the point of wanting to get married yet. I guess my thing is worrying that I will miss out on that special person, that I wont see the person that God has picked out for me or that I will be 40 years old when I finally find the one, Ha! He'll come Lauren! = )

Rosie said...

You sound just like my best friend Jenn. She has been hurt so many times and always vowed that she would never find anyone or have time to have kids. When she least expected it, she found the one, justgot married and they are not waiting to have kids. Although she is the last of our friends to settle, if she would have rushed it, I don't think she would be this happy. Have faith that your time will come. Better late than never right?

Jacquie said...

I'm on the other end of this spectrum. I got married at 19!!! That's too young. So, I'm hoping you're enjoying this time to learn who you really are and who God wants you to be.

HE is there and knows your needs and desires. Continue to wait... HIS time is perfect. (Hard to do, I know.)

Lauren @ Dreams Take Flight said...

I definitely know what you mean, and I kind of needed to hear this today, so thank you!

It's always something...I have a boyfriend, but seeing everyone around me getting engaged is like...when is it my turn?! But I know God is working in my life as He sees fit, and that Brian and I are doing things the right way. I'm not even ready to get engaged yet, I don't know why it brings up those jealous-y feelings!

I just try to remind myself that it's always something. First having a boyfriend, then getting engaged, getting married, having babies...it's so easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and when you'll be doing it. But it will happen, and it will happen when it's supposed to. That is comforting for me. :)

Cary Dale Taylor said...

I totally understand what you are going through, as I am going through it myself. Prayer and walking in faith can be hard in this area. I am reading a book "Choosing God's Best". It is a easy read and I totally recommend it. It is really good.

Katie said...

Lauren ~

I know you are in a tough spot, and I wish I had the perfect words for you. GOD will bless you for your sweet heart and attitude as you wait, I promise!

Your Christmas card is precious, too!

Kendra said...

10 years ago I was in your shoes. I prayed it all over to God and got on living with my life. I made good friends and did fun things. And when I wasn't even looking along came Wayne. On the internet, of all things. I know it's frustrating and tiring being single, it's a big worry, I know. But this moment in life is fleeting. Prayers for you! I just know God has someone special made just for you. Maybe he's on the internet, too???

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

I think everyone goes thru this period... Right now, I find myself wondering when will be the right time to start my family. Everyone is pregnant and getting that part of their life started - and it's hard knowing we have a few more years of lean times while Husband is in law school.

I think I'll have to join you on the praying front to just give it over to God. Thanks for putting that into words!

Annie said...

leave it in gods hands hun, he has a plan for you.

i am engaged and i have been for 6 months. we have no wedding plans. we want a family now but we know it's not our time either.

we have to just wait it out and see how things fall into place for us as well.

i hope you at least found some peace in writing this all out. you are a smart, beautiful loving lady. you will meet mr. right, i just know it!! praying for you sweetie pie!! XO!

Becca~TimeWellSpent said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again~you are very wise for someone so young.
You know Lauren, even if every wish in your heart came true right now there would always be something out there you could look at and wonder that same question about. That's our fallen state~no matter how much we have we'll always want more. Now, I know the things you want are very different from the material things so many others may want. You want the basics, the things every woman wants!
Just remember that not only does God love you He wants GOOD things for you!
I think your goal for a prayer life that continues to grow and a desire for God to write your story in His own time are lessons you will carry with you the rest of your life!
Beautiful post.

Paige said...

I am in the same spot you are. I just have to cling to the hope that God is not finished with me yet and that the best is yet to come. I will pray for you during this time, and into the New Year! Blessings!

♥Kim said...

I have been through this as well. I think we all get a moment to think to our selves "what about me"! I know theres a certian someone out there just for Lauren! Be patient! Your too sweet & beautiful for any guy not to want you!!! ♥

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Hi Lauren...

I had the thought while reading your post this morning that Advent is a season of expectant waiting. And you're COMPLETELY in an Advent season of life...waiting expectantly (and with hope) for God to fulfill deep desires.

It's hard sometimes, isn't it? It's easy to give up and lose hope and feel like God has forsaken you. He hasn't. He sees you. And I'm asking Him to give you a sweet reminder today of His gaze that is fixed on you.

BTW, your Christmas card is so sweet!!! Thanks for thinking of me.