Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The pen pal!

" A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17

Let me start from the beginning! Back when I was in 3rd grade our class was paired with another class out in California, and we each got paired with a person that we'd deem our "pen pal". Way beyond 3rd grade my pen pal and I kept in touch. It was such a special relationship to me, and we were determined that when we were older she and I would meet.

Well, that day came and in 2005 I flew across the country to meet my friend, and it will be a trip I'll never forget, but at the same time, it was a trip that changed it all. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I kind of at the same time even regret going out there, but then a part of me doesn't.

When we were out there together, we had a pretty good time together, but we realized just how different we were. But instead of choosing to embrace our differences, she saw it differently, and I haven't talked to her since. That's what I'm assuming happened.

I tried by all means I could think of to get in contact with her and I now know she's married, and it kind of stung when I came to know that because I always pictured me flying out there for her wedding and sharing in her day, but that wasn't the case. She has made no attempt to get in contact and finally I stopped because I was feeling pretty pathetic in my attempts.

I still to this day don't have a clue as to what happened. And I kept playing every scenario in my head thinking what in the world could I have done. But I had to stop doing that or I'd drive myself crazy!

I have a card she gave me back in 2004 which has Proverbs 17:17 on the front. Maybe at some point that was true, but something happened that changed the whole meaning of that scripture for her. And it just flat out bugs me that I don't know what it is.

She ended the friendship without so much as giving me a say or an explanation.

And here it's now 2009 and a part of me still hasn't let go, but it's getting easier for me. I know some friendships are sometimes only for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

But most of all, there are those friendships that stick out Proverbs 17:17 to the finish. And for those friendships in my life, I'm EXTREMELY grateful!

Can anyone else relate to this situation?


Rebecca Jo said...

Maybe it has more to do with distance & keeping up with the business of life, then it did anything personal...

its crazy how friendships end...

My BFf that was like my family - she got married started having kids, lost touch with me.. when I was PG, she came back in my life... I lost the baby & she never returned my phone call since... how weird is that!

Aishlea and Brandon said...

I can totally understand. I have a girl that I was best friends with growing up and now she barely acknowledges me in passing. We were inseparable and even through high school we were good buddies. I don't really know what happened, but she snubs me now and barely even speaks if we end up at the same event. Tragic...but then you are right to remember the great friends that have stuck around. You learn who your real friends are and sometimes you learn it the hard way! But at least you know who really has your back!

Adorably Distracted... said...

very much so! i feel like the older we get the more we all go in different directions. I like to look at it as helping us figure out who the GREAT-for a lifetime-friends we have and it lets us appreciate them more!

sandra said...

That's very odd and not very cool on her part.

I have very few friends and I try to keep in contact but often wonder if there is something wrong with me because it seems like they're not interested. It's sad really but there's nothing that I can do, after a while, you can't beg people to talk to you. Most of the time it's because we are so different...maybe that's what happened with your friend...I know most of the time, I feel very out of place.

I also wonder if now that we are grown up, it's as possible to make friends-and/or best friends-like when we were kids. I keep hoping it is.

Annie said...

i feel that way all the time. it seems like the older i get the less friends i have. people go in so many different directions.
which is why i'm very greatful for the friends i do have and the ones that have lasted through soooo many seasons :)

Emily said...

I've been in your situation before and it hurts so badly. The worst is not having any explanation- when someone seems to just drop off the earth and you're left wondering what happened.

I wish I had an answer for you, but sadly this is one of those things that you'll probably wonder about for a long time.

It's really a strange thing how different people value friendships. It stinks to find out the hard way that someone really WON'T be there for you through it all... but at the same time as we grow older, we see who our truest friends are.

Megan said...

I can relate. But I have learned that we have friends for certain seasons of our lives. It makes me excited to think about friendships that God has planned in the future and I don't even know about yet!

♥Kim said...

I've been in your shoes similure before myself! It's so crazy how people change and grow up and has no concern for your feelings or what's happening in your life.

I had a Bestie from 6th grade, we had so many memories, but as I got older and came closer to God, we kinda driffted away, bc she had no desire to change. I had to do what was right for me & my family.

Sad to say I still try being friends w/ her and so jealous at times. Idk why! But it's a crazy feeling!

Ashley @ {Let Go, Laughing} said...

i can totally relate. i had a really good friend growing up and in high school something changed (which i guess is kind of normal) but i still wonder sometimes what happened because it didn't just change, the person got really really angry at me.

i'm pretty sure it was caused by another "friend" but i still sometimes wish i knew even though it doesn't matter anymore and really, it was high school so who cares right?

i guess you just gotta stick with the friends who do care and do stick by you no matter what your differences!

Niki said...

That's not a fun situation to be in and I can totally relate. One of my best friends and I just recently stopped being friends over something really dumb and nothing I had control over. Bascially I felt like she was accusing me of something that I never ever did or would do and was attacking my character. It hurt to realize how much she doesn't know me and how our friendship really didn't mean that much after all. I had planned on her being in my wedding and this happened right after I got engaged. It's a weird feeling not having her around but at the same time, I'm so glad for my close, true friends! So I can totally relate girl.