Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Exactly one month from today...

Exactly one month from today I will be turning 26. All the more closer to 30, yikes!

Ya’ll, this girl had no clue what the years would hold for her.



In this picture I am graduating preschool feeling accomplished because I could now recite all my A, B, C’s… and maybe even say them backwards, who knows.

The years would come and go and then the next time I would find myself in a cap and gown again would be sitting at my high school graduation feeling accomplished becauseI had survived my last four years of school and would now find myself in the adult world. Looking back I simply wonder if I could do things over, if I would have taken the time to enjoy those years in all its fullness, because the years ahead would fly by soon enough. During that time you want to have all of life’s questions figured out, you wanted independence and you wanted to figure things out on your own. And the ironic thing is I’m still depending on other’s to help me figure things out sometimes, and learning that there’s a part of that, that will never leave us.

Before graduation I had everything figured out. But things didn’t go as planned and never did take the traditional college route. So I found myself a couple of years after getting out of high school wondering who I am, what am I supposed to be doing…. Desperately trying to find my calling and place in this world and the crazy thing is I’m STILL trying to figure that out!

So here I am now moving over to the edge of my late 20’s at a receptionist job I’ve been at for almost 7 years and not content with. Struggling to get myself through school so I can make a career for myself , I’m husbandless, kidless, and don’t have a house of my own. And you know what, that’s alright.

And most days I’m okay with this, but other days, not so much! This post isn’t so much a post about a pity party, but one of reflection. Hope a year from now I can look back on this and see how much life has changed. Granted, I still feel I’m struggling in areas that I was last year or even the year before, but God deals with everything in his own timing.

I look back at the picture of the little girl with her hand over her heart at her preschool graduation and realize that learning those A, B, C’s weren’t so bad after all. Beats high school algebra!

14 comments:

Jess said...

Girl, I have been there.

Just yesterday, I was talking with a friend about the great life I have. I have wonderful friends, a great job, an awesome family, etc. Then, I pointed out that even with all that greatness, I still feel like I'm "sitting the bench." Boyfriendless, husbandless, kidless.... all the things that I want really bad, at some point in my life.

Like you said..... it's fine that it hasn't happened, yet. Most of the time. And, it's not really a pity party when you aren't fine with it.... it's just a time to try to figure out what you need to do to change it. Is God wanting me to be patient or proactive?

Aishlea and Brandon said...

Such a cute picture! :)
Wouldn't we all like to go back to our younger selves and tell them to embrace every moment and stop wishing for the future?! Things don't ever go just as we planned them to and the wait for something you want is sometimes agonizing. But when it finally happens, the road you had to take to get there will finally make sense..... :) Love ya!

Annie said...

you have so much to look forward to hun!
that picture of you is so cute! :)
i hope you have a great day! hugs!

Adorably Distracted... said...

I know it will all come together soon! Keep your head up missy! happy early birthday!

Spicy Magnolia said...

Definitely better than high school algebra or any other math class for that matter!! :) You are special, Lauren, and I know the Lord has things in store for you that are set apart just for you. Everything is beautiful in His time and I pray that this coming year would be filled with joy, anticipation and trust in Him who knows exactly what you need even before you ask.

Kristin said...

Is 30 old or something??? HA! I'm staring down 32. Ewwwww. Happy pre-bday. : )

Jordan said...

I 100% feel the same way you do. Although, I'm trying to get to the point where I'm okay with it. The funny thing is, I'm writing a post almost exactly like yours! Thanks for sharing Lauren :-)

Lindsey said...

Such a sweet pic!!

Rosie said...

What a sweet picture. I love your positive outlook on life. Great things come to those who wait! Love ya!

Angie S said...

You have such an amazing outlook!

I think the picture of you in the graduation geer is adorable!!

a boy a girl and a pug said...

girl i'm turning 26 in 9 days and i cannot believe it's been 10 years since i started driving. this over the 25 hump is scaring me. glad i'm not alone!

Katie said...

Sweet Lauren, you are not even close to 30. ; )

I love hearing your heart. Know GOD has used you mightily in my life, friend!

EmmyLou said...

well, happy early birthday and such wonderful insight! i think we could all learn to slow down and appreciate life one day at a time! and it will be so excited to see what the Lord has in store for you during your 26th year!

D said...

Ok. I will be TWENTY EIGHT in Sept, so pleeeeaaase do not make 26 sound old.

Honestly, we aren't old, and there is SO MUCH to look forward to. Enjoy it. Your job isn't your life. It's just what you're doing right now!