Throwing away my lenses.

One thing that God has truly been working with me on and dealing in my heart about are the lenses I wear. The only way I know that for a fact is there have been two separate instances recently where people in my own life have addressed this. Can't tell you how many times people have said, "Lauren, why can't you see what I see?"

Hello, Lord.

We all have a set of lenses, and what I mean by lenses is the lenses in which we view ourselves; what we see versus what other people see. Oh my goodness, I’m to the point where I want to break my lenses in half and toss them in the trash. See, the thing is, our lenses are ALWAYS different than others and how they perceive us. We, as humans, and especially women, find it so hard to see the value and worth in ourselves and what others see in us.

The truth of the matter is, with social media these days; it’s so easy to hide behind it. My hope and desire is that what you see on social media is what you would see of me in real life and hope to be authentic. But if I were being truthful, I feel freer behind social media ….. and when it comes to face-to-face social interaction, I hold back. I recognize that, and I HATE it. I’ve realized why that is….. When you step out from behind the devises of social media and really have to put yourself out there, you are required to be more vulnerable and you open yourself up to be judged and rejected.

I hope I’m making some sort of sense here. But I often fail to realize I have some much to offer this world, so much value and worth that I somehow can’t always seem to see in myself. And rather than embracing that, it’s easier to shrink back.

I truly feel like I’m rambling here, but bear with me.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our own light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. You were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within you. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people the permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. “

I think this quote adequately describes what I’m trying to put into words.

 

Lord, help me each day see what you see in this girl. Help me to realize that my worth and value is found in you and you alone. I pray that here on out, each day I will learn to love myself more and more; every part of me. Take every doubt and insecurity and replace it with self-acceptance, appreciation for who you created me to be and that means ALL of me. I’m a child of yours and you love your children and therefore, I will learn to love me despite what I think my flaws might be. Thank you for Lauren, thank you for me.

And if you're reading this and you struggle in this area, I hope your prayer is the same... Just substitute your name :)