Oh my word.
April y,all. That's the last time I've posted anything on this blog.
I haven't felt the need to write or desire to write or post anything. But today, I do. I have tons of stuff inside and just need to let it out.
There are two specific important people in my life within the past few of years that have looked cancer straight in the face.
Cancer is such a death sentence, I hate it.
The first was my mom's husband Larry, who was my dad in every sense of the word, he died of terminal brain cancer in February 2012. It was a quick and aggressive cancer and was told he had a few weeks to live
Then we come to yesterday. My grandmother, my mom's mom, has been battling cancer for four years now. She told the doctor yesterday she wanted no more further treatment. She is at the end of the cancer road. My mom and she have a consult with Hospice tonight to get that relationship started and we're going to enjoy the rest of the time we have left with her.
Two stories of cancer but one major difference. Our dad faced it with complete peace and rejoiced till the very end until he was face to face with his savior. I can honestly say I have no fear of death after watching him. Absolutely none. It's not the end, but only the beginning. That was the greatest gift he left me.
Then you have my grandma who is deathly afraid to die. She knows where she's going but I believe she's just afraid of the process. It breaks my heart when she makes the comment "I wish I wasn't so afraid to die." I pray peace and strength to her heart and spirit every single day. I think there's a part of all of us that holds a little bit of fear of the unknown when it comes to death. I don't think any of us want to die and wish we could stay here forever. But we are not meant for this world. This is just our temporary home and we're just passing through on the way to where we're going. I thank God every day for hope of eternity spent with him. Eternity, it's what it's all about.
I wish desperately that cancer wasn't the cause of death for people, especially for the ones we love. But our God is SO much bigger than any cancer. But knowing that Heaven brings a cancer-free life and a body that's healed and free from it. Well, there's a whole lot of peace in that.
So if you would, please keep our family in your prayers as we walk this cancer road again with my Grandma. She's a warrior and has fought an amazing fight. She's my hero.